“Our first date was sailing and the second date was varnishing!” That’s what we 
tell people anD however unromantic it sounds, it is the truth. When Whitey asked me on a date to go sailing with him in May, 1988, I thought it would just be a fun day with an obviously fun guy. As a single girl living in San Francisco, the opportunity to go sailing on the bay was naturally on my wish list. As a girl from Utah, I had lived three years in the Bay Area and had yet to be invited on a boating trip on the Bay.
Sailing on San Francisco Bay
That day, I just sat back on Whitey’s 35 foot Ericson, trying to stay out of he and his friends way as they scurried around pulling on ‘ropes’. I had no clue what was going on or understood any of the boat lingo. But it was fun to watch as we sailed ‘Harmony’ through Raccoon Straights between Angel Island and Belvedere. After a couple hours of sailing we anchored off of McNears Beach in San Rafael for lunch. We had one of Whitey’s favorite meals – bagels, smoked salmon, cream cheese, slice tomato and red onion and topped with a sprinkle of capers. And we had a perfect Bloody Mary to accompany it. I was the new person of the crowd but everyone was intent on including me with everything. At that point, I had no idea what the future held for me with sailing, or even more importantly with Whitey.
Showing our true colors
It was a long day with just the right adventures thrown in so I knew that sailing wasn’t always just perfect sunshine and smooth sailing. Such as the anchor rode getting wrapped around the rudder when the tide turned. As we prepared to pull anchor, it was discovered that the anchor was caught around the rudder. The shift in tide force the boat to spin around and the rope for the anchor twisted around the rudder. After many attempts of trying to manuever the boat around the rode without getting it caught in the prop, they realized that someone had to go in the water. Thus Whitey had to don a wet suit and get in the water to cut the rode and unravel it from the rudder. And ooh – that San Francisco Bay water was so cold. I was amazed at how calm and matter of fact Whitey was with this. It was so natural for him to have a problem and figure out how to fix it. He made a few dives down under the boat unwrapping the line from the rudder.
Serenading me?
After the delay with retrieving the anchor, the return sail took longer than expected. Something about going against the tide was being discussed. Again, I was new to all of this but I now know the tides change throughout the day and current can be very strong in certain areas. So we motor sailed back to Sausalito to the berth he had. The day’s adventures were not over yet. The sun had gone down, and it was dark as we motored up the channel in Richardson Bay. Everyone was in a mellow mood. Whitey had a friend steering while he was inside the boat trying to get warm. I was chatting with him, or honestly, we were flirting. After all, it was our first date and we were just getting to know each other. All the sudden, the boat came to a stop. Whitey ran up top to find we had run aground. As he looked around it was obvious he was trying to maintain his temper as he realized that the friend driving had taken the boat out of the channel. Adrian’s comment was ‘sorry mate, I thought we kept the red lights on our port’. ‘No, Adrian. Every time we come up this channel when you have been with me it is ‘Red, right, returning’ or stay between the Red & Green markers.’ Whitey just shook his head in frustration and looked around to see what could be done to fix this fiasco. A few unsuccessful attempts were made to get off the mud such as everyone standing on one side hoping to lift the rudder while the engine was revved high in reverse. Nothing worked so Whitey finally decided to put on the wet suit again (a wet one). He then swam an anchor attached to a line out to port. They then ‘kedged’ or pulled the boat out of the mud. Thankfully it was only a few feet before we had ‘Harmony’ floating free.
We arrived back to the marina very late that evening when I had been told we would be home no later than 4 or 5 p.m. This was my first lesson that one can never schedule something exactly when sailing. You return when you return. That’s one of the great things about sailing. You plan for every possibility and then whatever happens, happens. In looking back on that day, I think it is good that there were a few mishaps. It was a great introduction to sailing – lots of activity when casting off and setting sails, laughter and great camaraderie with people, and some adventure.
2nd date? How romantic!
Once Whitey knew I liked sailing the lessons began. Whitey would cook me dinner on his boat. It was usually a spaghetti dinner with garlic bread. Or a chicken curry. I had not had curry’s until meeting Whitey but I quickly fell in love with the spicy dish. And we always had red wine. Not sure if that helped the learning or not. In the salon of his boat on a piece of paper he would draw a diagram of the profile of a sailboat. Then he would quiz me on the different parts of the boat – bow, stern, hull, keel, mast. And the different parts of a sail and the rigging – clew, tack, leach, luff, halyard, sheet. I’m sure many women would think ‘oh my, how romantic’. I thought it was cute. At that point, I was just having a good time but Whitey knew exactly what he wanted. Someone to go cruising with and that someone was me! He would have left even on his own but he was excited to meet a female companion who might be willing to join him.
Working on the boat
Yes, our second date was varnishing. He was, after all, getting his boat ready for cruising. On our third date, it was just the two of us who took the boat out for a day. Whitey decided we should go under the Golden Gate Bridge. “Oh my God! That means the ocean!” I thought. Visions of huge waves crashing over the boat went through my head. Luckily, we did not have those crashing waves that day but there was a noticeable difference in the sea conditions as we went under the bridge. The swells were further apart but larger. I was doing my best to keep my nerves in check. Whitey continued with the instructions we had been doing on shore. “Pull on this sheet.” “Watch out for that over-ride”, “Release that sheet” Then the big instruction came, “You know, Max, I think it’s time for you to get used to moving around the boat more.” “He seriously must be joking” I thought. “Am I really supposed to get out of the cockpit?” I was in bare feet, of course, since that is how Whitey got around the boat. He told me to go up to the bow on the high side of the boat. I didn’t even question him as I knew I needed to get more comfortable on the boat. ‘Sure, Captain White, whatever you say’. So as the boat ploughed into the waves, I waddled in a crouched position to the front, holding on to the handrails and the lifelines. He made me stay up on the bow for a minute holding on to the bow sprit and forestay. I then quickly turned around to come back and as I stepped around the rigging, one of my toes caught on the shroud and twisted back. Oooooh that hurt. It wasn’t broken but was a major sprain. This was another boat lesson for me– either wear shoes or be very, very careful when moving around the boat.
Learning to sail
Of course, I survived that trip and with the 20 minutes we were out in the Pacific Ocean, I felt I had rounded Cape Horn. I loved it. I was so close to nature and the weather. I loved the constant brain activity involved with looking around to see what needed to be done on the boat such as trim the sails or adjust the helm. I’m sure the next weekend was another varnish weekend. A boat has projects, and so I helped Whitey with these projects. The weekends of that summer flew by with something happening every weekend, whether it be sailing or projects. – – – But at that point, we were still just good friends.
