CANE GARDEN BAY, TORTOLA

“Be strong!”  “You will recover!” All words that are spoken with the best intentions from your family and friends. But the reality is that loosing everything, loosing your possessions even though they are material items, loosing your home – it is difficult. With all of the horrendous disasters that have occurred this past year, from hurricanes to fires to earthquakes, I could not help but reflect on how we felt after our personal disaster.  When we hit a container at sea and our boat sunk.  When we  lost our home, our livelihood and our lifestyle.  

I remember the day after we landed in Tortola, BVI after our ship wreck.  We went to Mass at the local Catholic Church.  It was not typical for us to attend mass, nor for the 3 crew members with us (one of them is Jewish).  But we all felt the draw to go some place and give thanks that we had survived.  We went there in what clothes we had been given from the Phillipino crew members of the freighter that saved us.  Clothes that didn’t match, clothes that didn’t really fit, miss matched flip flops and two of us, Whitey and Andrew, were in bare feet. 

We finished the service with tears in our eyes.  As people left the church they stopped at our row to give us condolences, blessings and ‘thanks be to God’ that you survived and are still here with us.  Most of these people we did not know, or had only met briefly.  Then a lady named Mary walked by.  Mary was a friend of our friend Sandra.  She looked at Whitey and Andrew’s feet an exclaimed ‘you have no shoes!’.  She was appalled.  Within minutes, Mary had called the owner of People’s Shoe Store to open up so we could go get some shoes.  They opened their doors on a Sunday and Mary, or someone, paid for 5 pairs of shoes.  I tried to decline anything for me but they insisted.  Their kindness was overwhelming but I remember the simple act of choosing a pair of shoes was overwhelming.  Ask yourself, when you have NO SHOES! what would be your first choice?  Do I get some flip flops?  Or do I get sneakers? Or do I get top siders for a boat when I don’t know when I will be on a boat next?  And I knew in a month or so we would be heading for a North American winter.  In the end I got a pair of top siders (boat shoes) that cost at least $90US. Everyone was thrilled to be helping the refugees on Tortola. 

But the reality is it is difficult. And it will be difficult.  But with time, the memories you had – of your home, your boat, your life – with those things that you lost, will over ride the sadness that  you have lost something.  You will begin to remember some kindness and compassion someone showed you after the storm, as I do with Mary and the owner of People’s Shoe Store. You should accept that kindness.  Let people choose for you, when it is so difficult for you to choose.  Let people do things for you. This kindness will carry you until you are at a point of making decisions and doing things for yourself.  And remembering the good times and rebuilding for future good times.